Kermit The Frog and Elmo STEAL a Cadillac Escalade! (GONE WRONG)/Transcript

Sean: Look at Towelie. He smells... Kermit: AYE! Sean: What? Kermit: Hey. Can I have some of this? (he has a drink in front of him) Sean: No you cannot have any. That's not yours. (Kermit starts to drink it.) Sean: Stop. Stop. (Kermit drinks it.) Sean: Kermit?! How did you drink that?! You don't even have an esophagus! (Kermit burps.) (Sean and Steven laugh.) Sean: Kermit. That was actually a pretty impressive burp. I gotta give it to you. Kermit: Hey. I got a question. Sean: What? Kermit: When the FUCK did we get a dog? (Sean and Steven laugh.) Sean: We've had Jasper for like THREE WEEKS now, dude. You're SO behind. Kermit: He's gonna eat me when I'm asleep, is he? Sean: NO! I WISH he would. (Kermit throws the drink down the stairs.) Sean: Ohhhh. Kermit. You just spilled your drink. Elmo: WOW. Good job, Geoff. (Kermit suddenly has another drink.) Sean: WHERE DID THAT ONE COME FROM?! Elmo: I WANT THAT! (pounces at Kermit's new drink and steals it) (Sean and Steven laugh.) Sean: DANG, Kermi... (Kermit has a vacuum cleaner.) Sean: YOU'RE NOT GONNA DRINK THAT! THAT'S A FUCKING VACUUM CLEANER, KERMIT! Look at your mimi ASS, and your STUPID little eye. (Kermit puts his vacuum on the floor.) Sean: Hey! Be careful! That's an expensive vacuum cleaner! (Kermit hits the vacuum.) Nice. Very, very nice, Kermit. (Kermit knocks over the vacuum.) THERE YA GO! IT ONLY TOOK YA FIVE FUCKIN' TRIES! (to Elmo) Elmo? What do you think of Kermit taking a drink from the vacuum cleaner? Elmo: What? Sean: What do you...?! Did you not...?! I said what do you think of Kermit drinking from the vacuum cleaner?! What are you doing?! Elmo: Oh, The lights so bright! Sean: What light? Oh. Oh. You mean the new light that I got? Oh yeah. I'll turn it all the way up! (Elmo is screaming.) Sean: Yeeeaaah! BURN, Baby! Kermit: AYE Sean: What?! (Notices that Kermit has a match. Kermit lights it.) Where'd you get that lighter?! (to Tyler) Tyler. Take that lighter from him right now. Tyler: No, man. Sean: What?! No! Take the lighter from him! (to Elmo) Elmo? Elmo: Burn, baby! Burn! Sean: (to Kermit) Kermit! Don't you set yourself on fire! You're too expensive! (Tyler takes the lighter from Kermit.) Sean: Thank you. Tyler: Smoking can kill you! Kermit: No! (Tyler throws the lighter down the stairs.) Sean: OH DAMN, KERMIT! Kermit: You bastard! (Tyler attacks Kermit. Sean laughs.) Sean: Dude. What do you think of these guys right now? Usually, when they start getting up to shenanigans, it never ends well. Tyler: They're outta control, dude. Sean: They really ARE. Honestly, they need... (sees that there is a shoe on the stairs) What? Ker... Tyler: That's my SHOE. Sean: What the hell? Tyler: (sees that Kermit has drugs) What is that? Sean: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT, KERMIT?! Tyler: What is that? Sean: Hey! (Kermit messes with the cocaine with a sword) Tyler: No. Sean: Kermit! WHAT ARE YOU DO...?! COME ON! Come on, Kermit! We gotta keep... We gotta keep it PG, bro. Don't you dare. We're gonna get age-restricted. I swear to God, Kermit, we're gonna get age-restricted again. (Kermit throws his sword to the ground) He just threw a sword at you, dude. Kermit: Someone said we're turning into a kids channel. (gets the cocaine on his face) Sean: Kermit! No! Is that... Is that cocaine? (sees that Elmo has a bat) Elmo? Where'd you get that baseball bat? Elmo: YOU'RE GONNA FUCKIN' DIE! Sean: Elmo! (Tyler takes the bat from Elmo) Oh my God! Elmo! Drop the bat! (Kermit gets the cocaine all over his face) Oh my God! Kermit! No! (Elmo gets some cocaine too) Elmo! Get him, Jasper! A drugdog is comin' after you! Elmo. Are you alright? (Kermit and Elmo repeatedly bang their heads against the wall) STOP! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELVES! Goddamn it! (Kermit and Elmo scream)

Sean: Alright Close that door right there. Now all the rooms are closed (hears a bang) What the FUCK was that? Oh my-god.

(Kermit hits and Elmo screams)

Sean: OH MY GOD! What the hell? KERMIT! AY! What are you guys doing?

Tyler: What are you doing?

Sean: Kermit! Elmo? What are you (Elmo:BAH!) Whzt are you guys doing on our garage? Hey!

Kermit: All out on here Columbian shit!

(Elmo screams)